Many people are able to tell you how many sexual partners they’ve had. A lot of people keep count assuming this is the only way to be responsible. But what if you can’t remember all of them? Is it a big deal if you lose count of your past partners?
The Short Answer
The short answer to this question is no. It’s not a big deal if you can’t count all of your past sexual partners, or even remember them all. In today’s world, it’s not uncommon for a single person to rack up enough to lose count. As long as you don’t feel bad about it, it’s not a huge deal.
Safety
As long as you are safe and keep yourself healthy the actual number of sexual partners you’ve had is irrelevant. Always use condoms, and always make sure you are tested every few months. As long as you do this you don’t need to keep a running count of who you’ve slept with.
When it’s an Issue
The only time your number becomes an issue is when you have to notify past sexual partners of an STD. If this happens you will be urged to contact your past sexual partners and let them know so they can get tested. This is why safety is always a concern.
If you feel as though your number is too high, then it may be a good time to stop sleeping around. But it’s a personal decision, and one that only you can make. Do not worry about what others think. It’s no one else’s business. If you are happy and content with your life there is no point in changing it.

For many people counting their sexual partners is a point of pride, while for others it’s a source of shame. It should be neither. In the modern world it’s not uncommon for someone who is single to rack up a certain number of sexual partners as they search for someone they can settle down with. Others who are more open sexually and participate in lifestyles such as swinging are also going to encounter many people throughout their years. This shouldn’t be a source of pride or shame for anyone. There is also no real need to count sexual partners, with a few exceptions.
Safety First
As long as you are being responsible about your interactions, keeping score is unnecessary. Make sure you are using condoms and dams, don’t participate in risky behavior (such as bareback sex and blood letting), and make sure you are tested every few months. If you follow these precautions you won’t find yourself needing to take count.
STDs
If you end up being diagnosed with an STD, it’s not the end of the world. This happens to the best of people, and can happen even when all precautions are being taken.  This is going to be one of the few times you will need to take count, since your past partners will need to be notified. Don’t let this startle you, and just be objective about it when you sit down to make your list. Most people have a few people on their list that they don’t remember, so all you can do is hope that person has been tested and remains safe and responsible.

Other than asking outright there aren’t any sure fire ways to know if someone is a swinger. There are a few things you can do to try to discretely find out without being too bold about it.
Open Lifestyles
If you’ve met someone recently and you are able to talk about past relationships, this can be a good clue regarding whether they are a swinger or not. If they talk about having open relationships, or participating in threesomes or other types of alternative sex, they may be open to swinging. Just because someone has experimented though doesn’t meant they are automatically a swinger.
Where You Met
If you met someone on a swingers website, it’s a pretty good indication they are a swinger. However, many people join these sites just to meet others, or they are only mildly interested in the lifestyle. If you are a serious swinger and looking for the same, you should be able to openly ask questions. Find out if they have actually tried swinging by asking them about some of the events or parties they’ve been to. If you still aren’t sure, just flat out ask them what their favorite swinging activity is. If you are honest with the fact that you are only looking for a serious swinger you can avoid a lot of time-wasters.
Just Be Honest
If you are wanting to meet others who are swingers because you want to participate in the lifestyle your best bet is to look at the swinging community. When you meet someone, be honest and upfront about what you are looking for. This way you don’t end up forming a connection with someone who isn’t in to the same thing as you. If you’re open up front, the worst that will happen is the other person will tell you they aren’t interested.

When couples who are new to the swinging scene, the question of how many times a week to participate will arise. There isn’t a clear cut rule regarding this, but there are some things to consider when you come up with your boundaries.
Available Events
Before you decide on an appropriate number regarding how often you can  swing, you should consider what is available in your area. Many swingers clubs only host events on the weekends, or only two or three nights a month. Others will have mixers a few times a week. Parties are usually no more than often than a few times a month and are typically held on weekends.  If you are a single man your options for clubs and parties will be more limited, as most clubs only have one or two nights a month where single men are welcomed. Before you set a number of times you want to participate, you should be realistic and find what’s available in your area first.
Experience Levels
For those who are new to swinging, it may seem like a good idea to swing as much as possible in the beginning. Honestly, this isn’t the right approach. You should attend an event just to see what it’s about, and revisit any preconceived notions you may have had. As you
build experience you can increase your visits. Most experienced swingers will only swing a few times a month, and most don’t attend weekly events.
Comfort Levels
The number of times you swing a week is going to depend entirely on your schedule and comfort levels. You’re never going to find a club where they think you are swinging too much, and many swingers only participate in events a few times a year.  It’s entirely up to you.

People choose to swing for a variety of different reasons. Many people assume that swingers are just sexual deviants, but this isn’t the case at all. Swingers can have perfectly normal and healthy relationships while having sex with others. So what really makes people want to try this?
Non-Monogamous
For many people monogamy just doesn’t work. This doesn’t make them less capable of maintaining a healthy relationship; it just means they are honest with the fact that sleeping with the same person for the rest of their lives just isn’t going to work. For many of these people swinging is a good solution. They maintain a normal relationship at home, and every now and then go to swingers clubs or events and participate in sexual activity with their partner and others. It’s a way to keep the commitment strong while fulfilling the desires they have.
Alternative Sexual Activities
Many people choose to swing because they have fetishes or desires that aren’t typically accepted in the standard community. Whether it is slave/master relationships or group sex, a swingers community is more open to this and provides an outlet for the fantasies. Not all swingers participate in sex with others.
Community Involvement
It’s nice to feel as though you belong to a community. For those who have fetishes or alternative desires it can be difficult to find a community to fit in to. This is where the swinger’s community fits in for many people. Here they can find others who are open and understand their lifestyle. A lot of people choose to participate in the swinger’s community simply for the camaraderie involved.

The swinging lifestyle expands across all walks of life. People from all backgrounds participate in the swinging lifestyle. There isn’t really a good stereotypical example, but there are plenty of stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle. Here are a few things that aren’t true of a typical swinger.
Sex Deviants
Many people falsely assume that swingers are nothing more than sexual deviants.  The notion that swingers participate in sex with multiple people every night, throw wild parties on the weekends, and even that they drink excessively or do drugs is common among those who have never participated. The truth is, swingers are normal, everyday people who work hard during the day and occasionally participate in parties where they can be open sexually. The only difference between a couple that swings and a couple that doesn’t is that the couple that swings can be completely open and honest with one another regarding their sexual desires.
Clubs and Events
While people who aren’t swingers may go out and enjoy time with one another at a night club, swingers are open and free to enjoy similar activities with a more sexual environment. It may surprise you to find out that many swingers don’t even have sex with others while at clubs and events. A lot of swingers simply go to watch, or just be around other open minded people. For a lot of swingers, the clubs and events are a form of foreplay, serving as a way to warm them up for private activities later. Although many swingers will participate in sexual activity, they always have clear cut rules regarding what is and isn’t allowed between one another, and these rules are considered sacred.